He's Always Faithful!

Its been a while hey? Not sure if anyone even reads this thing anymore!

So, looks like I'm going to be busy as of January...busier than busy! I HAVE been accepted into the LPN course!!! Yahoo, yippee, woo hoo...you get the idea:) I don't have my "official" letter of acceptance, but I did talk with the lady that decides yay or nay as to who gets into the course and she told me that I was in her "pile". So I asked if that was a good thing or not! Obviously it was the yay pile! I still have to get the second half of my Biology done, which I have until Dec 18th to finish...but I'm hoping and planning on not taking that long! We'll see I guess!

I am very happy about all of this. I have wanted and talked about taking this course for a long, long, long time! When I had first thought of it...Rowyn was just a baby, I may have planned on it before that, I don't know...like I said, its been a long time in the making! Its been a very emotional rollercoaster for me. There are times that I have just wanted to give up...like I have in so many other areas in my life...but I KNOW that people have been praying for me! It has meant the world to me to have the prayers of my parents, my sister, my friends behind me! I wish that I could express my gratitude! Teaching yourself Biology...well trying to understand Biology on your own is not easy... not for me anyways! It is paying off though, my interim mark was a B...I needed a C...so it was all good:) I am kind of looking forward to the second half of the Bio, as it deals more with anatomy and body systems...the first half was basically all molecular stuff...ugh!!! But that is now done, thank goodness!

Lately, I have been looking ahead to the future. Wondering where this is all going to go. We have plans...not 100% plans, but I am looking forward to them. None of them will happen though without a lot of faith and prayers. Something I'm not so good at most of the time...having faith, and praying in ALL things! I must admit that living out here has been a major growing, stretching, faith building experience...and sometimes, downright defeating as well! I have lost friends from the past and the present, pissed people off, made some people say "huh"?, and have had others shaking their heads. Such is life. I am finally learning, at almost 35 yrs old, that I don't live for anyone but God! Of course I need to treat myself right as well as my husband and children...but other than that (no offense to anyone) what I do is my business, whether people agree, or not! It doesn't matter. I've let it matter for sooooooo long...but when you get right down to it...it doesn't. People may not like my decisions, that is fine, you don't have to! I make my decisions on what is right for me and my family...not what is right for you, or for what you think I should be doing instead. Ok...I'm going in a different direction here all of a sudden...better stop while I'm ahead!

Life is too short to live with regrets! Although I would love to just pick up and move right at this moment...I would have regretted not finishing what I had started. I remember when I knew that we were going to move out here, one of the first things I did was to see if they had a college, and if that college offered the LPN program. It did!

As almost all of you know. I have not been happy out here for a long time. I still have days where I wish we never moved here...but, a lot of things wouldn't have happened in my life if we hadn't. We have grown closer as a family unit. We have not been able to rely on family members for "time outs" from our kids, or vise versa (lets admit, there are days when they need a break from mom and dad too) and some days that has been very hard. Of course I miss having my parents nearby, as well as my sister...but I've also enjoyed our independence from them as well. It has been a struggle, there have been times where I have honestly just wanted to walk out the door...wanted to walk away from everything and everyone! Scary? Yes! Tell me about it! I haven't shared that with many people, so I'm sharing it now...whether people believe it or not...doesn't matter.

Thankfully through all of this...God is proving and will always prove to be faithful! I truly believe that me going to school in January is our last step out here until we will be able to move on to somewhere else. Why I believe that? I'm not sure...but deep down, something tells me that "this" is it! So it gives me hope. This has been the plan for my life for a long time...and for a while I forgot about it. I know that being an LPN isn't some wonderful feat in some people's eyes...but for me, it has been my goal...well part of my goal. I eventually would like to be an Operating Room Technician...but that's a couple of more years down the road. My main goal though, all along was to get my LPN certificate. A lot of people have been telling me that I'll want to keep going and get my RN...I'm not so sure about that. Another three or four years of school does not sound that appealing to me...especially when I probably wouldn't graduate until my early 40's! Eeek! That doesn't appeal to me at all!

For now, I am content to know that I will be done school in December 2010! After that, who know's what will happen. It may take a few months...but I am ready for whatever, and wherever God decides to take us!

Conversation in the van...

While me and my son were out and about today...we some how started talking about the tides. He knew that the tides were affected by the moon, but asked me how.
I said that I wasn't quite sure how that all worked.
He said, "Well the boss knows"!
I said, "yes, he does"!
He said, "You know who the boss is don't you"?
I said, "Yes, I do! He even knows how many hairs there are on your head"!
He said, "I know that...and he knows how many hairs there are on dad's chest"!!!!

I just about peed myself! Where does this kid get this stuff? Haha!

One time I was showing him a picture of his dad when he was about in grade 7 or so, I asked Rowyn if he knew who that was and he said that he didn't. I told him that it was his dad. He then replied with, "DAD WAS BLACK"????? Hahahahaha! Jason has a pretty dark tan in the picture...but he is not black...that kid...always making me smile and laugh!

Swimming the Skeena...Talk about "Doing" something...WOW!!!

I heard a bit about this woman (click on woman...it doesn't highlight very well on here) on CBC radio a week or so ago...kind of forgot about it until I was driving along the Skeena yesterday to take my daughter to camp. Is she crazy? I don't know...but atleast she's trying to make a difference and isn't just "talking" about it!

What do you think?

Every time I catch 'Dog the Bounty Hunter' I always find myself comparing these two guys...

Its the hair! I always think of Manny the Mammoth's hair when I look at Dog...it makes me laugh! Dog must have enjoyed the Ice Age movies!

So.......

Well...I think I have finally figured out a few things in my life. I think I may almost feel at peace about it too...which is a wonderful, wonderful feeling!!!

As a few of you know, I had applied to take the LPN course out here about two years ago (it would have started in Jan of 08) unfortunately, it was cancelled due to the college revamping the course, etc. Needless to say I was disappointed. I have wanted to take an LPN course for over five years now, before I even moved out here...but Saskatoon didn't offer it at the time. I ended up taking the Home Support/Resident Care Aide course instead...it was half the length of the LPN (only six months instead of twelve) and was a good introduction into working in the health field. As I look back, I honestly don't think that I would have lasted twelve months straight through in school, as I hadn't been in school for quite some time! I probably would've dropped out. With taking the Care Aide course, I realized that I could do it! I've never had much confidence in myself when it came to school...I had a hard time in highschool...and I didn't enjoy the learning part that much...just the socializing:) When I went to hairdressing school, I graduated at the top of my class. I think wanting to do something over having to do something makes a huge difference! So last year, since it was my choice to be in school...I ended up graduating with Honors...would would've thunk it? Not me! Lol! So, I now know that I CAN do it! I am smart!

My last few posts have been mostly about leaving here. Someday, I hope we can, but until then, I NEED to make the best of it while I'm here! Last night I couldn't sleep. I started thinking about the LPN program again. I looked online at the one in Saskatoon...since lately, we've been kind of thinking of "home". At the moment, they are not taking any apps for next year and none from out of the province...and are going to be making it hard to get into the course by making it not first come first served...but instead who is the most qualified to take the course! That's how they're doing it for most of the course at the college in Saskatoon. Fair? I don't know. The waiting lists are crazy out there! So that wasn't really an option in my eyes. Then I looked at takinig the course through distance ed from a college in Edmonton. I wasn't too sure about doing the courses on my own...and then when I saw how much tuition was for out of province students...I axed that idea right away...its double for out of province students...crazy! In BC, the course is twelve months straight through...its a condensed course. In other provinces its two school years, or approx. 16mths. If I took it anywhere but here, I wouldn't graduate until 2012 if that...where as if I take it here, I'll graduate at the end of 2010!

So...... today I applied for the Jan 2010 LPN course and start upgrading in Bio on monday! Ahhhh!!! Then in Math in Sept. Crazy!!! As much as we've wanted to leave here...nothing seems to be happening. I finally decided that I need to make the best if things while I'm here...and achieving my goals can still be done while I'm here. I don't need to put my life on hold just because I'm not exactly where I want to be. I mean, a lot of people think that I hate it out here...I honestly don't. I just miss being able to see my family and friends from back home more than I do. I feel isolated out here in the winter...plus a few other things, but I don't hate it! A lot has happened in my life while being out here...a lot of mistakes have been made...but a lot of learning has also happened. Its all part of life...the good, the bad and the ugly. I just don't want to let another day go by thinking that I shoulda...but I didn't. If something happens between now and Jan and we end up moving...so be it. Atleast I'm prepared and have a plan if we don't. If I hadn't applied for the course and was still here in Jan...I would've been very upset with myself.

Well, I just wanted to share that with you all. Looks like I'm going to be busy for a while now...that'll be a good thing! I just pray that they don't end up cancelling the course again! That would honestly suck! I thank God for finally giving me the sense to just live and to stop regretting and thinking about things that may never be. He knows what He has planned for my life...all I can do is go to Him for guidance and hope that I'm doing the right thing in His eyes!

A Woman's Prayer

I pray for
Wisdom to understand a man
Love to forgive him
And patience for his moods

Because Lord, if I pray for strength,
I'll just beat him to death.


Jason saw this poem on the wall of his friend's mom's house last night...he thought that I'd like it...I do:) Lol!

Well its done...I slipped my letter of resignation under the door of my now former bosses office door!!! It feels good!

I got on with another place here in town. I won't officially start for a week or two yet...but thats ok...gives me a bit of time to just chill! I gave my two weeks at my other job...but honestly, I won't be taking any shifts if they call. Is that bad of me? I mean, I do have a choice if they do, so I'm fine with saying NO! For my new job I still need to get a criminal record check done and also a note from my Dr. saying that I am capable of doing the work that the job requires.

Speaking of Dr's. I just found out, through the local paper mind you, that my Dr. is leaving! Um, thanks for letting you patients know! We don't have enough Dr's out here as it is...now I need to find my family another one! Great!!! I sure wish that I could go back my Dr. in Saskatoon...I loved her, she's helped me through so much...she was the bomb!!!! Some people didn't like her, but just like with all people, you click with some and you don't with others...such is life.

I'm recertifying in my first aid tomorrow. Last time I took it, I registered for a class at our local college. It was fine, I passed, all was good. This time I'm taking it through St. John's Ambulance. I'm suppose to read about 20 chapters and answer the quizes at the end of each of them. I only registered yesterday and I've only gotten through 4 chapters...and here I sit and type. I hate reading as it is! Hopefully it'll all go well and I'll pass. I need if for my job. I needed it for my last job and they were suppose to pay for it...but that never happened. Oh well.

So J's been applying for a few jobs as of late. Three on the island...and three in Saskatoon. There are one or two in Calgary that he needs to check out as well...if he ever gets the time to do it. Work is keeping him busy!! We've decided that it probably isn't the smartest thing to just focus solely on one particular area. We need to be open to other area's and other possibilities. I think we'd be happy with almost anything between the island and Saskatoon to be honest. So we'll see what happens...I look forward to the day that I can write a post about J's new job and that we're moving!

I was talking with my daughter about moving. She really wants to move as well. She's bored out here...plus I think she misses being able to see family on a more regular basis...we all miss that! She told me yesterday that she thinks that being closer to family is more important that being close to the ocean...which she loves! I think that girl has her head on so straight that I couldn't make it any straighter if I tried. I needed to hear that. We just need to be living where we have easier access to family. Whether thats living in the same province or community, or being able to get seat sales so we can quickly fly to where we want or need to be. Either way, I think we'd all be a lot happier if we had any of those options!

Well as usual, thats all I got. I hope everyone who reads this blog is well and that spring has arrived wherever you are! Today was beautiful out here. I'm not sure how warm it got, but around 6pm, it said that it was +14 on our trucks thermometer!