He's Always Faithful!

Its been a while hey? Not sure if anyone even reads this thing anymore!

So, looks like I'm going to be busy as of January...busier than busy! I HAVE been accepted into the LPN course!!! Yahoo, yippee, woo hoo...you get the idea:) I don't have my "official" letter of acceptance, but I did talk with the lady that decides yay or nay as to who gets into the course and she told me that I was in her "pile". So I asked if that was a good thing or not! Obviously it was the yay pile! I still have to get the second half of my Biology done, which I have until Dec 18th to finish...but I'm hoping and planning on not taking that long! We'll see I guess!

I am very happy about all of this. I have wanted and talked about taking this course for a long, long, long time! When I had first thought of it...Rowyn was just a baby, I may have planned on it before that, I don't know...like I said, its been a long time in the making! Its been a very emotional rollercoaster for me. There are times that I have just wanted to give up...like I have in so many other areas in my life...but I KNOW that people have been praying for me! It has meant the world to me to have the prayers of my parents, my sister, my friends behind me! I wish that I could express my gratitude! Teaching yourself Biology...well trying to understand Biology on your own is not easy... not for me anyways! It is paying off though, my interim mark was a B...I needed a C...so it was all good:) I am kind of looking forward to the second half of the Bio, as it deals more with anatomy and body systems...the first half was basically all molecular stuff...ugh!!! But that is now done, thank goodness!

Lately, I have been looking ahead to the future. Wondering where this is all going to go. We have plans...not 100% plans, but I am looking forward to them. None of them will happen though without a lot of faith and prayers. Something I'm not so good at most of the time...having faith, and praying in ALL things! I must admit that living out here has been a major growing, stretching, faith building experience...and sometimes, downright defeating as well! I have lost friends from the past and the present, pissed people off, made some people say "huh"?, and have had others shaking their heads. Such is life. I am finally learning, at almost 35 yrs old, that I don't live for anyone but God! Of course I need to treat myself right as well as my husband and children...but other than that (no offense to anyone) what I do is my business, whether people agree, or not! It doesn't matter. I've let it matter for sooooooo long...but when you get right down to it...it doesn't. People may not like my decisions, that is fine, you don't have to! I make my decisions on what is right for me and my family...not what is right for you, or for what you think I should be doing instead. Ok...I'm going in a different direction here all of a sudden...better stop while I'm ahead!

Life is too short to live with regrets! Although I would love to just pick up and move right at this moment...I would have regretted not finishing what I had started. I remember when I knew that we were going to move out here, one of the first things I did was to see if they had a college, and if that college offered the LPN program. It did!

As almost all of you know. I have not been happy out here for a long time. I still have days where I wish we never moved here...but, a lot of things wouldn't have happened in my life if we hadn't. We have grown closer as a family unit. We have not been able to rely on family members for "time outs" from our kids, or vise versa (lets admit, there are days when they need a break from mom and dad too) and some days that has been very hard. Of course I miss having my parents nearby, as well as my sister...but I've also enjoyed our independence from them as well. It has been a struggle, there have been times where I have honestly just wanted to walk out the door...wanted to walk away from everything and everyone! Scary? Yes! Tell me about it! I haven't shared that with many people, so I'm sharing it now...whether people believe it or not...doesn't matter.

Thankfully through all of this...God is proving and will always prove to be faithful! I truly believe that me going to school in January is our last step out here until we will be able to move on to somewhere else. Why I believe that? I'm not sure...but deep down, something tells me that "this" is it! So it gives me hope. This has been the plan for my life for a long time...and for a while I forgot about it. I know that being an LPN isn't some wonderful feat in some people's eyes...but for me, it has been my goal...well part of my goal. I eventually would like to be an Operating Room Technician...but that's a couple of more years down the road. My main goal though, all along was to get my LPN certificate. A lot of people have been telling me that I'll want to keep going and get my RN...I'm not so sure about that. Another three or four years of school does not sound that appealing to me...especially when I probably wouldn't graduate until my early 40's! Eeek! That doesn't appeal to me at all!

For now, I am content to know that I will be done school in December 2010! After that, who know's what will happen. It may take a few months...but I am ready for whatever, and wherever God decides to take us!