Ok...I was browsing some blogs just now and came upon a friends friend's blog who is a photographer...she mentioned some about a site called Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep or NILMDTS What an amazing thing for people to do! Its nice to know that there are people out there that think of others in their times of grief like this and care enough to make something positive out of it in some small way. Check it out Warning...you will cry.

Resting...

Ok...I was reading a few blogs tonight and one of my blogger buddies mentioned how she had gone for a walk in the woods...just her and God...she didn't even bring along her camera to take pics. While she was explaining some of her time with Him...she said..."it is always ok to just crawl into Daddy's lap and rest". I just burst into tears when I read that!! Lately I have been so tired...not just physically...but emotionally. When I'm like this I tend to think the worst about everything...and I mean everything. I'm trying so hard to just rely on God, to trust in God...but somedays its just so hard. I know that He is there...but I try so hard to fix things or to do things on my own. I think I need to do more resting in His arms than I need to do resting in my own bed!! Do you know what I mean? He is the only one who is going to get me through this...my timing is obviously not his timing. I have been such a wreck since I quit those jobs...but I know that those jobs don't define who I am! I haven't stopped thinking about them...I don't think a day goes by that that moment in my life is not replaying itself over and over in my head. I'm realizing though that its ok to have down times...times where you just need to take a break from everything and everyone...those that care will understand...those that don't...well, whatever!! I don't like to be such a downer...so when I realize that I am being one...I tend to hide out for a while...cause I just get tired of it all. Thankfully God never tires of hearing us call out for His help! For that I am grateful. So for now, I will rest in His arms...and when the time is right...I will be ready to get a move on!

This song expresses so much of how I feel alot of the time...wish I could post a video for it...but there is none...

Against the Grain
You need not, to climb mountaintops
You need not, to cross the sea
You need not, to find a cure
for everything that makes you weak.

You need not to reach for the stars,
when life becomes so dark
and when the wind
does blow against the grain
you must follow your heart
you must follow your heart

when all your friends
have come and gone
and the sun no longer shines
and the happiness for which you long
is washed away, like an oceans tide
when all the hard times, outweigh the good
and all your words are misunderstood

when the day seems lost from the stars
you must follow your heart
you must follow your heart

If you feel, you paid the price
and your wounds should cease to heal
and everything you love in life,
spins like a winding wheel
if you should wake, to find you're abandoned.
and the road you travel, leads to a dead end

when death creeps in, to play it's part.
you must follow your heart
you must follow your heart