So so...

Well I don't know if I have much to say...nothing much exciting is going on in my life these days.

I worked my first shift last night on my own...it went well...pretty uneventful. The job is ok...all I can say for now is that its a job...its not really what I had hoped it to be...oh well. I'm not sure as to how much I'll be working, I would like to be working a bit more than I am, not sure what to do or think about that.

I think we've decided that its time to move home. We've flip flopped on living as far away as Ontario all the way to the island. I think that its time to go back home. There are so many things that I have not yet seen in BC...but I can always come back for a visit. I miss my family...I miss my friends. I miss so much of my former life out there. Sure we were struggling financially (thats why we made such a big move out here...just to get ahead) but I was much happier there. I love Saskatoon and the area that surrounds it. I don't think I can say one bad thing about it (although some would say its flat and has no mountains...I say there is beauty in that too...just in a different way). Some may say its small...but its not really...it has everything anyone would ever need. I always thought we wouldn't be able to move back because of house prices...but those seem to be coming down as of late. Plus anywhere else that I look in the country, house prices seem to be the same or more. I miss sunday dinner at my parents. I miss friday nights with our best friends! I miss the meewasin trail and toboganning on pest hill or Diefenbaker park! I miss the Bessborough hotel skating rink...oh how I love that place! More and more I've come to the realization that "home" is Saskatoon and it always will be. Now before people start thinking that we're moving...hold your horses. We're not...atleast not at this moment. J and I have just been talking and we both feel that we're being pulled to go back there. First and foremost we need to find jobs, mainly J as he is the main "breadwinner" lol! I think I could find one fairly fast so I'm not really worried about me. He on the other hand has a more specific job...so they aren't in as high demand as my line of work. We also need to get things done around here...we almost have the upstairs finished...and that is our main goal. We had hoped to replace our deck before winter came...but it didn't happen. There's just so much I miss about home. Its exciting for me to think that hopefully by summer I will be back there. Its just the waiting and finding "the job" and selling the house that has me nervous! I have enjoyed BC and will continue to enjoy it...but I know that it has not been the best for my "mental state"...especially the past two years. I'm tired of feeling down in the dumps more than I feel up in the air...know what I mean? It has nothing to do with people or "things"...its just where I'm at. I'm so tired of the constant grey skies and the rain and slush. I'd give anything for a good old snot freezing -30 sunny saskatchewan day! Seriously! (I told you there was something wrong with my mental state...haha). I've just realized that we had it pretty good...and we moved out here for a "time" and I feel that time is coming to an end. I need my family close by...I need my best friends back where I can see and touch and talk to them in person...I need my happiness back. So as I wait patiently for the day to come...I will sit back and enjoy the time I have left here. Who knows...it may be longer that I hope or plan on...but now that I know where we want to be...I can finally relax a little.