I think I'd need to do A LOT of haircuts...

I'm in the need for a new pair of haircutting shears (they are called shears, not scissors...not that it matters). So I googled "haircutting shears"...and the first website I went to had these fine pair. Ya...they're even on sale! For a great deal I might add...$1299! But you get free shipping, so whose complaining;)

Right now...

Hey. So here I sit...early sunday afternoon and I just went through the messages on our phone...turns out the stupid ringer has been turned off all weekend so I missed a few!! I was suppose to work yesterday (saturday) but called in on friday early evening to say that I couldn't. I had been dealing with a horrible "time of the month" all week...one of the worst on record...and especially bad since I haven't had it for six months!!!! I just wasn't feeling up to working all day, 12 hours on a saturday. I had had plans to get a bunch of stuff done during the week...but due to my six month visitor...I was basically housebound and living in the bathroom for a couple of days...FUN!!!! I am thankful though that I finally got it though...not for any particular reasons...I'm just glad when I get it cause it makes me feel normal!

So today while I was listening to my messages. My work called like three times after I had called them...one time was because they got me mixed up with someone else, the next telling me that they couldn't fill my shift and that I would HAVE to come in and the next saying that someone was able to cover it. I know that I shouldn't let it bother me...its a done deal, its over with, today is a new day...but it does bother me!!! I mean what if I was super duper sick or something and they couldn't find someone to cover my shift...they'd expect me to still come to work???? I tell ya, I dread my job...I absolutely hate the twelve hours. I know I shouldn't complain...I should be thankful that I do have a job...but really. I've never called in sick before or not worked my shifts...and yet when I don't come in for the first time ever...they expect me to anyways, no matter how I feel!!! It just frustrates me to no end! I'm glad that someone covered my shift...cause had I not called them back because the ringer was shut off...that would have looked really bad!!! I don't mind the twelve hour night shift so much...but a day shift...on a saturday...that is my entire day...gone!!! I know, I need to do my part as well...I'm just saying that I don't love it...thats all.

On to better news...finally! We are taking a trip (which I have yet to inform my boss of...oops!). This friday we're heading to Vancouver Island! We're taking the Ferry overnight and will be there on saturday! I cannot wait! I'm excited and nervous all at the same time! Jason and the kids have never been to the island and I haven't been there since I went to Expo 86...so really, I don't remember much about it at all. We're planning on being there for a few days...no agenda. We're just going to fly by the seat of our pants and do whatever we feel like doing. Of course we'll take in a few "attractions"...maybe do a bit of shopping...but really not much if I can help it. I just want to "see" the island...to explore as much as I can. I'm sure summer is the best time to go...but we need to get away from here for a while. We haven't left this area since July...that is too long to not go anywhere for me!! We are also hoping to make a few "connections" as far as a job for Jason goes...so you can pray for that if you feel led to do so. The kids are excited too. I'm just hoping that we don't all end up sea sick...but I will have lots of Gravol in hand...just in case.

I have a class tomorrow in regards to work, then I work on tuesday and thursday night (yes...I won't have much sleep on friday) so wednesday is basically my only day to do most of the packing and such.

Well thats about it...I hope you're all well!

Life...

Well Christmas was pretty good. We got our kids a Wii as their "main" gift. I had full intentions of not going overboard with "things"...but I did. In some ways I regret it...but there's always next year to hold back a little or a lot depending on things.

I missed spending time with family...thats what is so hard about Christmas. Its time for family and when you don't have any around...it gets to be quite lonely. Thankfully we have eachother (the four of us).

We've recieved a ton of snow in the past week and a bit. Its been quite nice.

I'm not lovin my job. I'm realizing that I hate the day shift and twelve hour shifts really mess me up. Its been really slow lately. At one point there were no women in the house at all. I worked christmas day night and there was only one lady staying there. I don't mind the night shift...I can do my own thing and watch TV if I choose to. I have some work to do...but not a lot! The day shift I find harder, especially if there is no one in the house and no other staff around. I worked the other day and read 300 pages of a 400 page book. I came home and finished the book! Crazy! Ya, its easy money...but its boring. I feel for these women...but I don't know what to say to them. I find it frustrating when you here that they get themselves into the same situations time and time again...over and over. I know its a cycle...and I know its hard to get out of abusive situations. Its just not what I thought it would be...my heart is not in it unfortunately. I'm also not working that much anyways. I'm finding being on call very difficult. If I'm asked to take a shift for a day down the road, no problem...but getting asked to take a shift the next day I really can't stand. I've applied for a part time position...but we'll see what happens. If I don't get it, then I may just reapply at the seniors place out here. Ya, I'm still on call, but they're eight hour shifts and they usually ask you in advance and give you a "set" of shifts. Who knows if they'll even have me back. I had gone and asked them for my job back before I got my current job and they said no...not at that time. They wanted to see me prove my commitment either through another job or by volunteering. Well I have another job now...so we'll see. I dunno.

There's a lot on my mind these days...so much that I'd love to share, but know that I can't. There would be too much judgement and opinions thrown my way that I'd want to run and hide. Just something else that I need to get through without the whole world knowing.

Well once again...an upbeat post! haha!

I hope you all have a wonderful 2009!

Kids say and do the darndest things!

Can't sleep...thought I'd share a little something with you.

The other day I was watching "What Not to Wear". My son just so happened to be in the room as well. The poor lady on the show needed some help in the "girls" area. So they took her for a bra fitting. Now Rowyn has seen me in my bra...there is no secret that I need one. I casually said to him..."aren't you glad you don't need a bra?" Jokingly of course. He turns to me and says, "but you do, and Sydney does, and so does dad!" Ahhhhh! I had to laugh, and so did he...he gets me all the time. So today the Summer Sears catalogue arrived (can you believe it?...I don't know why, but every year it still surprises me that they put it out before Christmas). Jason had mentioned to Rowyn that he should find the big screen TV's in it. Rowyn later on gives the catalogue to Jason telling him that he "bookmarked" the TV pages for him. Jason open's it up only to find that Rowyn has bookmarked the bra section for him! Hahahaha! Just thought I'd share that with you all. We had a good laugh over it...and NO, my husband does not need a bra! Kids hey?

One Solitary Life

A friend sent this to me, I'd like to share it with you...

If you are of the Christian faith...you're about to experience something beautiful!

One Solitary Life was written by James Francis in 1926. In 248 words he captured the essence of how the life of Christ has made a powerful difference for over 2000 years.

Therefore, to celebrate His birth this Christmas season, just click here to watch this 3 minute movie. If you're inspired please forward this email to a friend. They will thank you!

Here's hoping that you and your family have a wonderful Christmas!

Well it getting close to Christmas. Once again I have mixed feelings. I'm excited to see my kids faces when they open their gifts...but I'm bummed because I will not be spending it with any of my extended family:( I won't go on about how much I hate that...cause really, I'm sure you can all understand my feelings and frustration!

Work is blah, blah, blah! I'm on call so I don't get scheduled shifts for the most part. I get called when someone calls in sick, or takes a day off, or whatever. I haven't worked in over two weeks! Frustrating? Yes, very much so! I guess I can be thankful though. J's been working ALOT of over time over the past two weeks, so that more than makes up for the $ in regards to what I'm not making. I've applied for a temporary part time position. So far I'm the only one who applied...if I don't get it...I think I may just lose my mind! There was a permanent full-time position available...but I didn't want it. Alot of people just don't understand why I don't want to work full time. It drives me nutts! I have a life! I don't need to work full time...nor do I want to! I'm not in it to make big bucks...I'm in it to occupy my time and for a bit of extra $ to pay some debt down. If I worked full time I'd work 2 on, 2 off, 2 on, 3 off, etc. With 12 hr shifts...I'd be going nutts. Now I know that other people do it, and thats fine. If I ever become a nurse, I know I'll have to do it too. But right now, I don't want to. I have NO family out here...so my kids would spend alot of time alone, and its just not worth it! Sure I have friends who could help me out...but really...I don't want that either. I'm happy with part time...I'm just not happy with nothing at all!!! Oh well...like I said, J's been working alot of OT, so I'm kind of glad that I'm not working because the kids wouldn't see either one of us if I was on days...and thats not good! If I don't get the PT position, then after Christmas break is over, I'm looking elsewhere. I mean this isn't a huge community...there aren't many options left for me in regards to doing something that somewhat relates to what I went to school for. Home Support is still an option. I did apply there, but they haven't hired anyone since June (my friend works there, thats how I know). So I dunno. I may apply again at the home that I quit at in Sept...but deep down I'm not sure how I feel about that. I'm finally feeling better, so I try to just keep that out of my mind for now. I seriously think that I had a nervous breakdown after those two jobs didn't work out for me. I mean they did work out...but I didn't work out at that point in time. I still think about it all...woulda, coulda, shoulda...but for the most part I feel much better. I'm not sure why it all happened the way that it did, and why I couldn't handle it...but obviously there was something deeper going on...something that I'm still not sure about, and may never figure out. I just know that I don't want to got "back there" ever again...it was one of the loneliest and horrible experiences of my life! I know most people don't "get it" and some may think that it was all drama and me just not wanting to work...well those people can just shove it! What I went through was real, and I hope that no one ever has to go through it as well. I know that it all started with a bad experience and then led to a full on pannick attack, followed by more and some very irrational uncontrollable thinking...at one point I was ready to go to the ER for some sort of sedative or something...but I didn't. After alot of sleeping and praying...I finally feel like I've come out of it. I just feel that I really need to move on...not just from that...but from here in general. I have gone through some of the most horrible things out here (things that many of you don't know about, and never will)...things that I will not mention...and ever corner that I turn seems to bring me back to something that I'd rather forget. I know...WHATEVER Tanya! For me though, its real, its my reality...and I'm the only one that can change it. I am better...but I just want a fresh start, a clean slate, a new beginning! I know I may sound like a drama queen...but its all true!

I think my whole family is ready for a new beginning. I don't know where we'll end up...as in my last post I said we'd like to go back to Saskatoon. That is a definite plan...but we've also discussed Victoria again as well. I know there are no guarantees that either will turn out...but both have the "things" we're looking for in one shape or another, and both have negatives as well. I'm just trying to not think about it too much until the Christmas season is over with.

I finally got my tree up yesterday...its so purdy. I feel a bit less "homesick" now that its up. I just hate taking it all down, not because I want to keep it up...but what fun is it to take it down? Its more like work to do that!

Well once again...not the happiest post...but this is where I'm at in this moment. I hope you're all doing well and are getting excited for Christmas and what it all has to bring. Just remember...JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON!

Some pictures of Saskatoon!

Here are a few pictures of the place I love so much but didn't realize until I had to leave for a few years. There is nothing like a good Hoar frost to make Saskatoon a winter wonderland. I didn't take these pictures but a friend of mine did...I just stole them from her Flickr site :) I'm really wishing that I could go home for christmas this year...but unfortunately we can't. We have only been "home" for christmas once since we moved out here. I think this time of year is especially hard for all of us...we will not be seeing any family this christmas...it makes it a very hard time of the year to get through. I honestly don't feel like christmas is even here yet and its just around the corner. Christmas is about love...the love of Jesus our Lord and Savior and the love of family...which thankfully is always there, even if the miles between us are many.